


When He Sees Me

by AngelWolf1027



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Awkwardness, Based on a Song from Waitress, F/M, I Might Continue This But I'm Still Not Sure How So Marking As Complete, When He Sees Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 01:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18539980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelWolf1027/pseuds/AngelWolf1027
Summary: She doesn't get why these little things matter to her. She'd probably love him whoever he is, either way. But...would she really? She thought she knew herself well enough by now. 14 years of knowing herself to be frank.





	When He Sees Me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Waitress' "When He Sees Me"

She sat on the ledge of one of Paris' many tall and historical buildings. She forgot which one this was. Brushing her bangs away from her glossy eyes, she took in some of the cool night air of early Spring. Trees were just growing back bright green leaves and flowers bloomed, sending the pollen count through the roof, but they were beautiful and widespread through the city nevertheless. The smell of the city had become somewhat calming to her senses. It wasn't as pleasant as the fresher air in the city, but it reminded her of home. It reminded her that she was still safe. She desperately needed that sense of safety. The citizens of Paris just started noticing how forceful their local villain had became recently since the past few attacks. She could almost feel his influence radiating through Paris from some unknown disclosed source. Wherever he was, she hoped she'd be able to find out soon, because her sleep schedule was currently less than ideal. However, her relationship with a certain feline was perfect. Their dynamic had also changed, leaving them prepared for any monster or minion Hawk Moth decided to throw at them, syncing their actions and using mere looks to convey what exactly they were doing.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms tightly around them. After a while, the night air got chilly enough that she'd become uncomfortable. It was at this time that she'd let her thoughts consume her. Memories of past fights or concerts her friends and her had been to. The time she had her spotlight designing things for Jagged Stone. Every encounter with Adrien. Every touch of the shoulder or cheerful smile sent her heart racing. Every time her and Chat Noir met up for happy patrols through the city. Every time they exchanged a look of pure adrenaline. That sense of immunity from being free from the dangers of the world by simply looking down from above. Every time they practiced team building excersizes and every cheer when it mutually paid off. How much they changed in each other's presence after that. 

Her view on an identity reveal had also drastically changed. Which was why later, right before midnight on a cold Saturday evening, they would finally step over the line. She tried pushing down the thoughts of doubt and despair. She always feared the unknown, not understanding how to embrace it. Maybe it was partially the akuma's fault. Their energy was hard to place, thus making her fear what it was really capable of. She was almost sure that they had barely seen it's capabilities yet. Chat was known. He was safety. To a point, he was home, but how could she be so sure about the boy beneath the mask. He could be anyone. Her suit didn't make major changes, so his probably didn't do too much, but she never knew. He could be anyone. Except past akuma victims (besides Style Queen) because there was no way that one could be one person and fight them self at the same time. It just wasn't probable. Although, Hawk Moth was unpredictable at times...

She laid her head on her knees, curled up in a position that suggested stress. A stray tear slid down her cheek. She couldn't do this. The risks were too high. This was a stupid idea they had in hope that they could become friends (maybe more?) outside the suits and compromising masks. She heard the unmistakable sound of light footsteps, of which only a superhero could cause. She guessed it wasn't Chat, his boots being a bit too loud for stealth. When she heard another pair, she knew exactly who found her. Their miraculous' had been given to them in light of recent attacks. She froze in embarrassment. Ladybug was supposed to be calm and collected. Her current state was neither. She was very far from confident. She expected Chloé to berate her or make fun of her for being weak because Chloé is just as unpredictable as Hawk Moth himself is. But, she stood there behind her, silently contemplating what to do when the most serious person out of all of them was having a mental breakdown.

Rena walked over to her, lightly setting her hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her panicking. Nobody spoke for a hot second before Rena asked, "Are you okay?" Ladybug wiped her eyes. "Chat and I...we're going to reveal our identities at midnight tonight and I..." She motioned to go on as Queen Bee joined her.

"I stick with real things, usually facts and figures. Figuring out the purpose of a Lucky Charm's always been pretty easy. I try to minimize any guessing games. They just, make me uncomfortable, that kind of unknown. Well, guess what?" Both stared at her intently. "I hate guessing games. With a flaming freaking passion. And I don't like having feelings I can't understand. How do I really live if Fate chooses my path? Is it even called living?" She wiped her tears. 

"Like when we do reveal our identities. He could talk too fast or ask me questions about myself before I decide that he can ask me questions about myself. He could sit too close or call the waiter by his first name or eat Oreos but eat the cookie before the cream." She doesn't get why these little things matter to her. She'd probably love him whoever he is, either way. But...would she really? She thought she knew herself well enough by now. 14 years of knowing herself to be frank. But..."What scares me the most is what if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it? What if he turns the other way and I can't hide from it?" All those patrols they had to do together. "What happens then? If when he knows me, he's only disappointed? What if I give myself away to only get it given back? I couldn't live with that."

She shrugged off their hugs, instantly regretting it. "So I'm fine in my shell shaped mind so I can get the better view of what's happening in my life. So if when he sees me, I want him to-"

Rena cut her off, "LB don't you think you might be being. Ya know. Just a tad bit-"

"I'M NOT DEFENSIVE!" She screamed out. She curled in on herself. "I'm simply being cautious...he could be less than kind. Or even worse, he could be very nice have lovely eyes. And make me laugh. Come out of hiding...what do I do with that? Oh God! What is when he sees me I like him and he knows it? What if he opens up a door and I can't close it? What happens then? If when he holds me, my heart is sent in motion? I'm not prepared for that! I'm scared of breaking open! But I can't help but hoping to find someone to talk to who loves the way I am. Someone who when he sees me, he wants to again."

"Maybe..." Queen Bee offered. "You should settle your thoughts. Everything will be fine, okay LB. I'm sure you're only overreacting." Those words were so odd coming from the girl, and when she didn't hear the sound of sniffles and soft breathing she knew they had left her. And all she had were herself and her stupid brain.


End file.
